Goodbye, internet


Written by Jasmine York

Sometimes I have the incredible urge to just quit the Internet. I want to pack up camp and leave. Maybe I’ll go settle somewhere else where there are even more places to vent my opinions and post pictures of my dinner. Maybe there is another place I can post about some protest I didn’t witness but found out about on Tumblr, which provided inspiration to the deeper version of me – a person more political and considerate of others and who has only been discovered since I realised I got more RTs when I exposed her…

Why should I leave? Immigration. Just kidding, but so many people use it as a reason for so many problems I thought I’d try. Gosh, how quick and simple this article would be if immigration really was the reason. Interesting.

Anyway, I want to end my time with the Internet because it feels overcrowded. To me, the Internet was a place that I’d escape to and I could learn different things there and gain perspective.

How is it overcrowded, Jasmine? What do you even mean? Are you doing that thing where you get all metaphorical and try to blow the reader’s mind? And are you really talking about yourself in the third person, you pretentious fuck? How good do you think your writing is? And this is exactly the point.

The Twitter phenomenon has enabled people across the world the ability to express their opinions. Let’s say one person makes a slip up on the morning news, by the evening there will be 400 million tweets from youths diagnosed with teen angst and bandwagon syndrome, 590 ridiculing blogs and god knows how many articles. This is why I want to leave. It’s bad enough that we all rely on the media for our information and so I do not want to be a part of the manufactured mess.

Side note, can we all laugh at the irony of me writing an article which will be published on a website?

Don’t get me wrong, I am all for free speech, hence why I’m still writing. It’s my right to have freedom of speech and I believe in exercising it. My issue with everybody talking about everything is what happens because of this. The concept of free speech is wonderful but it is fundamental that the opinions being expressed are logical and based on real information. It has been said that we are currently experiencing the fourth wave of feminism. This is great. Another kick to bring up women’s rights to the same equal level as men’s. But it drives me mad to see people condemning feminism because they have been given a distorted view on what the movement is all about. Anyway, I’m won’t go off on a tangent. And I don’t want to be mean either.  Just showing I can talk about a range of subjects. Maths puns.

Let’s give the whole ‘offer an example thing’ a go. I could talk for hours and hours about the endocrine system and the controlled release of hormones, yeah I could do that. I’d be chatting utter shit mind you because I know absolutely nothing about it. That’s how I feel the Internet is – people endlessly talking, making general statements and expressing regurgitated information just for the sake of doing so.

I think I’m drowning in shit. And yes, I’m doing that clever figurative thing. Everyone seems to be talking and they’re not even talking with each other or even discussing things. They’re just babbling. I can’t even watch debates in parliament because it’s exactly the same. What role models our leaders are.


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