Written by Holly Firmin
The last few years have seen politicians finally realise the potential of social media as a tool in spreading their ideas and rallying support. However, unfortunately for George Osborne, he has yet to get the hang of digital communication. I have translated some examples of his tweets to help George along.
‘Britain deserves a pay rise and Britain is getting a payrise – today I am introducing the National Living Wage’ = ‘I am disguising the fact that I have stamped on all you peasants by introducing a living wage, that, once I take away your tax credits, won’t be a ‘living’ wage anyway’
‘Today I am committing to meet NATO 2% pledge every year. This is a budget that delivers national security for all of Britain’ = ‘It’s okay that you can’t feed your family because I am buying bombs and shit’
‘We will take the family home out of Inheritance tax. Promise made. Promise delivered’ = ‘I keep the promises I make if they mainly help rich people’
‘The @OBR forecast national debt falling in every future year. We’ve left age of irresponsibility behind & will fix roof while sun is shining’ – ‘We’ve left the age of equality and social justice behind and I love ambiguous metaphors’
‘Britain is fundamentally stronger than 5 years ago. But greatest mistake would be to think all our problems are solved’ – ‘You thought the last 5 years were bad, wait ‘till you see what I’ve got in store for you this time’
‘We will support the vulnerable and ensure those with the broadest shoulders are bearing the greatest burden’ – ‘I will do the exact opposite of what I say’